It does not have to be soon
There is no rule that a celebration of life follows immediately. Families increasingly hold one weeks or months later, when travel is possible, when people can speak without breaking, and when the person planning it has slept. A gathering in April for someone who died in January is not a delay. It is often better.
Decide what kind of room you want
Three shapes work, and they are different events. A seated meal, where people sit together for two hours and talk. An open gathering, where people come and go across an afternoon. Or a short programme of speaking followed by food.
For most families, the seated meal is the one they are glad they chose, because it keeps people in the room long enough for the conversations that matter to happen.
Plan the speaking, and cap it
Ask three or four people in advance. Tell them how long. An open invitation to speak either produces silence or one speaker who cannot stop, and both are hard on a grieving family.
It is entirely acceptable for the closest family to speak least, or not at all. Nobody expects a widow to deliver a eulogy.
Give people something to do with their hands
Photographs on a table. A book people write in. Something of the person's — their tools, their recipes, the hats. Grief in a room with nothing to look at becomes a queue of condolences. Objects give people a way to approach each other.
Food matters more than at any other gathering
People have travelled, they have not eaten properly in days, and the meal is what turns a receiving line into a wake. Familiar food, generous, served rather than queued for. Whatever the person actually liked, if anyone remembers.
Have someone who is not family running it
The single most valuable thing you can arrange. Somebody who knows the order of the afternoon, tells the speakers when they are on, handles the door, and answers the questions so the family does not have to be competent while grieving.
Two and a half hours
Long enough to say what needs saying. Short enough that it ends before the room tires. Give it a stated end time so people know the shape of the afternoon.
If you are planning one, get in touch and we will take as much of it off you as you want.